The lab based experiment in Bucker’s article brings me to a new world of thinking about what should we do when we face a competition.
Today, we live in a commodity society and a market economy. We are full of a competitive atmosphere. When we expect life to be more and more fulfilling, and we are eager to enjoy the most advanced and scientific lifestyle, we must compete and meet the challenge. Competition can overcome inertia and promote social progress and development. For everyone, competition encourages people to be full of hope, full of vigor, full mobilization of physical and psychological potential, and continuous psychological satisfaction, which is a healthy psychology. However, competition is also likely to cause anxiety, manifestation of neuroticism, physical and mental fatigue in the long-term captain’s life; especially for losers, because of the huge gap between subjective and objective satisfaction, plus some people’s psychological quality There are inherently unstable factors, such as emotional fragility or emotional depression, which can cause them to be depressed, emotional and metamorphosis, and even serious problems such as crime and even suicide. This is a negative side.
Then, in a modern society full of competition, how can we foster strengths and avoid weaknesses and maintain mental health? First of all, we should have a correct understanding of competition. We know that if there is competition, there will be wins and losses, and there will be winners and losers, which is the same as sports competition. There are champions and finalists in sports competitions. There is only one champion, and the vast majority of the contestants won’t win the championship. However, if they lose, they will lose, and they will fight to win the next time. This project loses and wins the next project. Imagine a fledgling contestant who does not suffer many failures, lacks the enterprising spirit that is unwilling to lag behind, lacks tenacious perseverance and perseverance, lacks good psychological endurance, and does not allow and welcome others to exceed their own broad minds and efforts. Enterprising and surpassing the heroism of others, it is difficult to imagine that he will eventually win the championship.
Secondly, we must have an objective and accurate assessment of the atmosphere, and strive to narrow the gap between “ideal me” and “reality me.” When setting goals, it is not difficult to be high-spirited, and it is not arrogant. It is necessary to unify the long-term goals with the short-term goals, and to start from the ground up, step by step, and contribute to the ultimate realization of “ideal me.”
Once again, in the competition, we must be able to judge the situation and develop strengths and avoid weaknesses. A person’s needs, interests and talents are multifaceted. The way of thinking “a road to black” is not necessarily desirable. Everyone has some potential and he does not realize that if he pays attention to excavation in practice, then it is likely to create a new situation of “the East is not bright in the West” and “Liu Huaming is another village”. This shift in science can increase the chances of success in competition and reduce frustration, as evidenced by many life examples. A high school graduate who has tried several times in a science and engineering department has turned to literary creation; an announcer has become a global rock star; a worker has become a famous fashion model, etc., precisely because they have mobilized potential abilities. , shifting the direction of competition, seized the opportunity, and achieved success in one fell swoop.
Of course, competition may not be successful. In addition to subjective efforts, it depends on various factors such as social environment and interpersonal relationships. It is said that “there is a problem in people, and things are in the sky.” However, the most important thing for people is to have lofty goals and hard work spirit. Success is certainly gratifying. If you fail, you will have a clear conscience. If you realize something, or you have learned new knowledge in competition, you have normal new talents. Then this kind of failure may also be very valuable. Who can predict that it is not the beginning of a higher goal success?
Failure will bring anxiety and frustration. It should be rational in the face of frustration, emotional regulation, self-respecting emotions, and rapid transfer of mood. You can use music, play, dance, chess and other activities to transfer and vent psychological pressure. In the darkness of the night when it is difficult to transfer the mood, you can masturbate to appease yourself, just like the fox who can’t eat the grape said that the grape is sour, give yourself a high-sounding reason to dilute the inner pain. However, this self-deception method can only be used occasionally. It can help to avoid mental breakdown when it is subjected to a huge blow or when the province is too fragile, but it should not be used too much, because this kind of psychology itself is not a healthy psychology.